Here is where we tell you a little about each candidate. For more coverage, check out the recent article in Tabloid Times 51.
Darf Fader- SupervillainFamous for his 2016 Presidential run and kidnapping Tabloid Times Dr. Yannoiji, Darf Fader is in it to win it with the Bull Party in 2020.
He refused to release any medical records. When asked about his taxes, he said "they're bad," and plans to release his financial documents before the election . His slogan is "Malevolence Now!" Key Policy Positions: - Doubling the U.S. mosquito population - Tripling length of road construction to increase traffic - Doubling the length of the tax code - Banning comfortable furniture - Outlawing birthday parties - He advocates deregulating in a way to "both harm business and make everything more dangerous. It's a tall order, but we can do it." |
Pyro Hen- Used Car SalesmanFamous for running two used car dealerships in the greater Boise area, Pyro Hen is now heading the Moose Party ticket, hoping to take home victory this year.
He released medical records and his financial statements. However, critics are skeptical of their validity, with likely theories being that he took Usain Bolt's health and financial forms and passed them off as his own He has no slogan, nor any policy positions. However, Hen is proud to have made the most promises of any candidate in the race. Feel free to ask him for stuff in the "Ask the Candidates" section. If nothing else, it'd be funny to see him promise more stuff to people. |