Got a Question, Ask it here, and both Fader and Hen will answer!
Feel free to ask about what is important to you this election- personal questions, funny questions, policy questions, annoying questions, or just plain asking for promises. Fader and Hen will do their best to answer your question in a timely manner.
(Answers below)
From Susan Warren: I believe in Fader's promise that deregulation is the key to harming business and making everything more dangerous. Thinking things through is un-American. When will the candidates' hats be available?
Fader:
I'd like to clarify: my stance on de-regulation is selective. I want to keep the regulations that keep the DMV the way it is, for example. But on the whole, you're right, Susan, we need to make things less safe AND hurt businesses by rejecting this false dichotomy that political elites force upon us. No hats for you. Just for me.
|
Hen:
You want a hat? Of course I will give you a hat! Free hats for every American, whenever they want them, for the rest of time! A constitutional amendment! Provided of course you vote for me.
Hen-Doyblee merch is just the best! That's why you should want it and I will give it to you! |
Cosmo Jerry Asks: I despise traveling by car, if I vote for you would you be willing to bulldoze all roads near my home so that car travel is no longer an option? That would be pawsome!
Fader:
This is a fantastic opportunity to put my slogan in action, Malevolence Now. So I'm torn. Normally, I'd tear up roads to make people miserable, but now somebody wants that, which really puts me in a bind. I don't like this ambiguity. Go away.
|
Hen:
There will be no more roads in Pyro Hen's America, as you so kindly requested. Car travel will be made illegal! Please let me know if there's anything else you want, if I haven't earned your vote yet.
|
Milton Friedman Asks: What do you think about the economy? For or against?
Fader:I generally take a pretty hard-line anti-economy stance. I'm not going as far as to advocate for no economy, provided that I still need to enrich myself, but I think we have a wonderful opportunity now to increase inefficiency and remove barriers to market failure. There will significant inflation and unemployment under a President Fader.
|
Hen:
Whatever you think of the economy, I think that too. I can't really tell from the question. However, I promise to give you either the best economy in history or entirely eliminate the economy, whichever you prefer.
Note to future question-askers: please indicate your request/political position so I can promise it! |
Doctor Yannoiji ASks: What do you think about air travel? How can we improve it?
Fader:The word "improvement" doesn't really fit in my "Malevolence Now!" agenda. Rather, as President, I would outlaw legroom on planes and require pilots to aim for turbulence. I'd also close the bathrooms and have the seat belt on at all times.
|
Hen:I promise here and now, assuming I win (which I will), everyone who voted for me will get to fly first class FOR FREE! Doesn't that sound great! You'd also get a free limo to the airport, and a $100 bill. But you have to vote for me otherwise the offer is void.
|